SAYS
Don’t do it. Don’t. DO NOT DO IT.
Join the ranch-volution.
Say NO to ranch.
Maybe you grew up with dipping your crusts into ranch dressing. Hey, I get it. It’s what you’re used to. All you had in your town growing up was Papa John’s, and it sucks. But it’s what you had — any port in a storm, right? I mean, they give you the ranch for a reason, right? Who wouldn’t dip their bland, loveless big-chain crust in ranch to try to numb the pain?
But you’re in the city now. Ranch has no business on pizza here. Buffalo wings? Sure. Ranch away.
But pizza? Good pizza? Absolutely not. Ranch is a mask, a tarp. It is not an enhancement. It is a distraction, and to a pizza chef, it is an offense. We spend hours, days making doughs to get them just right. And when, after all this love and care, we proudly share our bounties with you, our friends… your first instinct is to take a big white liquid dump all over them? Not on our watch.
Other pizzerias acquiesce. Other pizzerias cave. We will not. We are taking a stand.
Consequently, ranch is BANNED at all PIZZAMICI locations worldwide. Having said that, if we ever start serving buffalo wings, we reserve the right to change our mind.